Reputation...REPutaion R3pUt@Ti0N!!!!

what's the fuss about?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Reputation, reputation reputation....

My mother always said that the most important thing for you to maintain is a good reputation. She was very proud of her reputation that she maintained -->"untouchable" as "someone who will beat you and stop before a murder charge if you even tried to touch her inappropriately..."  she was proud that men feared her and women hated her out of jealousy... she was perfectly happy with her reputation.
so, this got me thinking as a child - as it was impossible not to since it was brought up regularly - about my reputation, when I was in grade seven I was exactly like my mother. and when grade eight came around I decided I didn't want people to fear me - it's not exactly the best way to make friends you know - but what this saying also did was it made me consider how I want to be remembered.

a good thing yes?...NO!... a very very very bad thing.

lets evaluate what happened as I moved into high school.... I started to think about how I wanted to be remembered... I started to think about how I wanted people to think of me. I started caring more about what people thought about me. as a person. not what I wore or what I looked like. I considered my personality.
that is a dangerous ball to play with. REPUTATION.....

lets look at the definitions shall we?

wiki says - Reputation is the opinion (more technically, a social evaluation) of the group of entities toward a person, a group of people, or an organization on a certain criterion. It is an important factor in many fields, such as education, business, online communities or social status.


Reputation can be considered as a component of the identity as defined by others.

–noun

1.

the estimation in which a person or thing is held, especiallyby the community or the public generally; repute: a man ofgood reputation.

2.

favorable repute;  good name: to ruin one's reputation bymisconduct.

3.

a favorable and publicly recognized name or standing formerit, achievement, reliability, etc.: to build up a reputation.

OK so we need to understand that a good reputation is needed in some area's like business and education. having a good reputation amongst your fellow pears is not something that is desperately needed. As a 14 year old one does not need to worry about what people will think if she behaves in a certain manner.

REPUTATION. It seems to me that maintaining a certain reputation is a lot responsibility. A lot of pressure.


REPUTATION. I truly hate this concept.  how OTHERS view you. shouldn't we be more concerned about how WE view ourselves. "a good reputation is more valuable than money"... is not something you teach your kids, because you and your kids are being taught to categorise people, label them, label themselves, yourselves. you're teaching and learning judgement. worrying about a reputation is the doorway to insecurities and self loathing as well as judgement. it's not a happy door...it's a sad sad sad door! stay away little friends stay away!...

We shouldn't be growing up worrying about a reputation, children act out. Teens act out - heck Adults act out! we shouldn't worry that the moment we loose our temper or the moment we have too much to drink, the moment we find ourselves pregnant - that our reputation will be ruined.

REPUTATION is not what needs concentration. Concentrating on who we want to be - also a bad idea.
we should not concentrate on how others view us, and we should not concentrate on who we want to become.... because lets face it... at the start of teenage hood and into adulthood most of the time, none of us actually want to be who we are, we want to be someone else who we find much cooler than who we are. {{don't even try and deny it, the best of us feels that way at the worst of times....}}

CONCENTRATION. what we need to focus on is being ourselves. it sounds so cliché but it's true,,,, and we need to focus even more on being ok with screwing up and being able to look in the mirror after a humiliating experience, after a painful fight, after loosing our temper, after making the biggest mistake of our life and saying "yes, I screwed up, yes I'm not perfect, yes many people are going to talk about it for weeks and are going to insult me... but I'm still freaking awesome and I still love who I am right now"
It's not about a reputation. who cares what the population thinks of you?... who cares if the population thinks your a terrible person due to a mistake you made in high school . That's not important, what's important is realising that your God is the only one you need to impress and knowing that you don't have to impress him. what's important is learning to love the person you are now, the one making mistakes, not the person you'll become from those mistakes, the one right now who embarrasses you sometimes, who sometimes doesn't have proud moments, who has a lot of blonde moments and who screws up ROYALLY. that person. LOVE that person.

so I'd say shove you're theory on a good reputation being more valuable than money Mr. fortune in the cookie. The one thing that's more Valuable then all the riches and that good reputation crap... Is learning to love the person you're ashamed of sometimes that's in your mirror, is learning what really matters... you.
you matter, no matter what your reputation is. You matter, you are amazing and You should love it.

haha ... yeah...:}


so... this is ButtonGirl popping in....and falling off this coat......peace

The idea is not to learn to think, it's to learn to organize what you think... 

so, I'll make sure it's neat and tidy...:) 

so... it's been a while... I don't have an excuse like university, Work, school, chores.... I've been going out, chilling on Facebook and neglecting my responsibilities... I've had things that should have kept me busy, but I was neglecting them. Procrastination... 

I let my tangled curly wild hair hang loose... and now, I have a pile of work I need to get done with no visible beginning... 

[huge sigh and looks to the left at the large pile of manuals and pens] aaaaaaaah!... it's coming for me!!!!!! [slaps face to bring herself back to reality...]

Procrastination - is like getting really drunk, feels awesome when its happening... but in the morning.when it catches up (dot dot dot) <--- insert words of your choice...

still knowing this about procrastination... I sit here, avoiding working... avoiding studying... avoiding making appointments... in an unreality of my making... 

and when I think about the amount of work I need to get done and the deadlines I've missed that are making people slightly irritated... I get... depressed about it [hoookay, exaggeration much??? ] and choose not to think about it instead of just doing the work and being happy as a whole and not just when I'm not thinking about it.... because it's more fun to not do it... it's more fun to laugh and joke and mess around... it's more fun to shake off responsibilities to not care about anything but doing the fun stuff... or is it?...

after a length of time of ignoring your responsibilities guilt catches up... stress becomes evident... worry... [pimples for some of us]... the small builds up to the medium...to the large and at the end we are left with things we can't handle on our own... ok, that hardly happens... but it does for a lot of people..especially people like me...  we cram the night before an exam and pray we pass, we scratch a project together and rely on "copy and paste" and "synonyms" to make it seam like we did something, when we're fooling no one but still passing and feeling a great relief when we see 40.03% ... not a good mark... but good enough for now... we'll try harder later... trust me, later hardly ever comes around... 

for those of you who hardly procrastinate and have schedules, and to-do-lists... and actually organise yourselves... I really do admire you, my best friend is like that, sure she procrastinates sometimes, but, her procrastination is healthy... is almost planned... d[O0.]b ... yes I did just accuse her of planning her procrastination!!!!! mwahahahaha!!!!.... what you going to do about it?????... that's what I thought!...[ok, cooling of my buttons now...]

so, procrastination, isn't the best of things... it's good to do sometimes, it's good to let your hair loose, but excessive procrastination that lands you up in a huge hole...not so good... if a few hours have past and your still putting whatever it is off.... know that you need to start getting your buttons on it... because my friend has something going there... if you know you're not going to feel like doing it, give yourself a few hours to sulk and procrastinate... then after that... start moving... why?... because stress doesn't look good on anyone and you wouldn't shoot yourself in the foot literally...so why do it metaphorically???....

so, before I spiral into a procrastinating disaster.... I'm going to turn left [not scream and hide] and pick up a manual... and a pen... it's like working out, if we take a walk every day to keep fit we won't feel like we're dying when all of a sudden we choose to go for a run to get fit. moderation... doing the work as it comes so we don't have a scary pile in the end... 

plan procrastination... 

Organize the work load so that it never overwhelms you.... plan and Organize the fun so that you never feel like your drowning in work and responsibilities. Balance. plan work so it's never too much, plan fun so you have something to look forward to when your doing the hard work...:)... 

so, I'm going to start with my pile that I've left till the last minute... okay, I'm hungry so I'll get a bite to eat first... but the first thing I do after eating will be that pile... Brownie Promise...:D

so this is ButtonGirl popping in...and falling off this coat...peace

Because...

there was indeed a man named Frank who lived a merry life, he ate a tart and drank some milk and now is out of sight...
Don't ask, just accept it... why?... because I truly do not have an answer for you as to why I typed that up, except for..."because"...

so, because...

I love this song...

so, I thought I'd share it... sometimes, all we need is a song... no words, no essays, no hugs, laughs, pictures... just a song... because music... is different... and different is always/sometimes... good...

so, this has been the shortest post...

my Farther says and I agreed that sometimes, silence is a good thing... we should not fear it... and when we speak... we shouldn't try and stress a point too much... sometimes all you need is three words....

so this is ButtonGirl Popping in....... and Falling off this coat...peace

Untitled

Untitled.. I haven't been here for a while... hi... and all I can think of, is, Untitled... cos I am not sure what to title it. I'm not sure how to title a lot of things... a Title is important, so I hear, as it lets you know what you are about to read and it gives you an impression... either a good one, or a bad one... an interesting one, or a boring one...
and so, it is because of a title that we choose to read a book, that we choose to talk to people, that we watch a movie... a Title...   but not just the obvious ones but the more subtle things...
relationships, emotions, choices... we want to title everything...
when two people like each other, they are expected to "Date" ..and then he/she becomes your "girlfriend/boyfriend"... and if two people do everything that a couple does yet they aren't dating or a "boyfriend/girlfriend" people get confused... the people in the relationship get confused... how would you break up...
if a front page did not have a title for it's main article.... no one would pick up the newspaper... because they wouldn't know what it's about... and so they would assume it's boring... they wouldn't want to go ahead to see what it's about... although people are curious... they are equally lazy...

happiness, sadness, heartbreak, abandonment, uncertainty, confidence, fear... we have titled everything... imagine feeling heartbreak and having never experienced it before... and never having heard the word... you would go insane.. I would go insane.... we like titles, we like to know what things are... because when we know what something is called, it's easier to comprehend it.. to understand it... and therefore embrace it...or conquer and get over it...  we can learn how to keep it.. how to end it...

if we don't title it... we're lost... we're uncertain... we are leading forward...blind... and discovering as we go along...

Life is already like this... we stumble through... why would we want the details in our life to be a "blind" experience too...
some might think that it would make things adventurous... and maybe they are right... but maybe they're not...
and maybe there is no title, and maybe there is... one that we haven't found...

we want to know what things are in one word... that is our problem... we want to have everything explained in one word...
"what is your dad"..."he's a medical Doctor"
"oh, she's my best friend"
"they're dating"
"she has cancer"
"I'm pregnant"

no one really knows what my dad's company does... because it's so diverse... because it hasn't really been done before in IT... the way he does it... I don't even know and I work for him... it doesn't have a term yet like doctor, lawyer, mechanic... and so when people ask me what he is and I start to explain... they want to cut me short and say "what is he"... they want the short version,,, the one word answer...
they want to categorize... know via category...
they don't want to wait for the whole story to understand... they want to understand now... they don't want to feel ignorant and blind till the end when they find out what it really means...

can you imagine that???... "oh, she has er... something, lets wait and see what happens shall we?" ... and 6 months later... she dies...Hmmm wonder what happened...

Wondering what happened... understanding the outcome from the input... if you don't know what it is... you cannot understand the outcome brought on by it... the end result...

if someone has cancer... you know what the end result could be, and you can prepare for it.. you will understand it...
if someone is pregnant... you'll understand what's happening when she starts crying in pain, why her stomach grows... you can prepare for the child...
if someone's in a relationship..they'll understand what it is, and they'll understand when and how it ends...  they won't wonder to themselves what happened <--- if there is a breakup and explanation... still it would be better than a drifting apart?... how would it end?... if it never begun with clear understanding of when it begun.. of what begun... how can it end... it wasn't anything... how can a nothing have an ending?...
what are the rules to a nothing?
what are the treatments for a nothing?
how do you prepare for a nothing?..
how do you prepare for something you don't understand... how do you prepare when you are ignorant?
how do you relate to nothing?

we need Titles, to relate, to understand, to treat, to organize, to prepare, for rules... for boundaries....
we need them... so that we are not ignorant, not completely blind, life is like that painting pushed too close to your face for you to know what it is... we get our clues from the details we can she... so that we can at least have some kind of idea... if we take away our titles... you take away our details... our description.. leaving us blind completely... we wouldn't know how else to see the picture... we might just lose the plot altogether...

so thank your God for the little Graces... like a Title, even if it is "Untitled"... because it's still at least in a category... it's just in the lost and found box waiting for you to pick it up... and untitled might suck... but, at least you'll figure it out eventually... and at least... it doesn't happen all the time... :]... but I s'pose, it might be a bit healthy to figure things out on your own every now and then... but not too often...:]

so this is ButtonGirl...popping in...and falling off this coat...peace...:)

rAnd0M pOst!Ng O_0... cos you just need those sometimes...

when I see camera's I freak out a little cos I rate they going to go all terminator on my butt!...you never know what could happen!!! best we all start hiding in our hidden rooms under a round old carpet in the middle of an inconspicuous room...while Nazi's lurk in the dark waiting to pounce, cos you know they think anything with a stick up its butt is awesome... kinda like this web cam that's faced at me now..:O!!!

OOOOKAY... so we all need a little random in our lives... to ease away the brun of too much thought...no?... it's kinda like a long day of storms followed by a nice sunny day... relaxation...

how many of you just say random stuff some times just to fill silences?... or just say something totally wookaldiblue because you're rambling on your thoughts and what comes out comes out whether it's about pink flying zebra's or elephants occupying the room... what I have learned is that random... isn't ever truly random... it might be out of the blue for some cases... but never fully random, because it's linked to a thought you had, a situation, a memory... the random spewing of words that make no sense to the outside world... is not random to you, because it makes perfect sense in your mind... and if the aim was to random... is it really random, if you intended it to be?... Hmmm these are the questions that keep me up at night..<---- not really, I just felt like saying that...

so, onto other stuff stuffs stuff....ya...[O0.]

one thing that always confundled me was what my parents said....

I mean seriously??? do you think they even think about the things they say??? like one thing was 

 "well If he jumped off a cliff would you follow?" I mean jeez... obviously the answer would be no,,, unless you were suicidal... the reason we did whatever we got in trouble for was cos 1stly... our friend did it... and 2ndly... it seamed like a good idea... therefore the appropriate line should be... "the things your friends do aren't always the right thing... it might seam like a good idea untill you find yourself waiting in your room with every panty you own own for your mom to walk in with the belt that'll end with you not being able to sit for a week..."... see if they said that I would have been a much much much nicer child which never got in trouble... that line works the magic... not the cliff thing...

jeez, I wonder what everyone elses parents said... sigh... the joys of our parents... gotta love em....

from Parents to Fabcebook...

HAVE YOU READ SOME OF THE GROUPS????

there were some groups that made me so... hmmm nauseous...:)

they were soooooo emo...

here are a few...

"I've come to a point were I'm like WOW, F#^* 90% of humanity"  the photo was a button that said "I hate people" [O0.]

"I die a little inside when you're online and don't talk to me"...then talk first... don't get emo...they could be waiting for you to talk first... 

"oh I'm sorry I'm such a burden on your life"...L-A-M-E

"Every girl wants to hear a boy say I love youuuuuuuuuuu <3 :)".... what about lesbians... tsk tsk tsk...

a funny thing I ran into was..."I laugh, I become a fan, I never look at the page again"... so just for kicks.. I decided to check out the page...

and one would assume the page would be empty... but nope.... it is full of people promoting random stuff, chicks saying they want people to invite them to show em a good time... and yada yada yada... I couldn't help but sit back and enjoy the irony.... and notify people of the irony as well... sigh... I will never look at that page again... but, I will never forget it <--- it's typed up on my blog...

finally... an Irish Airman foresee's his death is a poem about an Irishman who decides join the war so that he can fulfil his dream of flying... and as a result will die, but he doesn't mind <--- best summary I could manage...

I'll give you the peom underneath for you to compare....to this youtube clip..  if only I'd seen this clip when I was still in school and studying this poem...

just remember... you might think motivational... but think again... it's suicide...

ok, and here's the poem just if you wanna read it... :]

An Irish Airman Foresees His DeathI know that I shall meet my fate Somewhere among the clouds above; Those that I fight I do not hate, Those that I guard I do not love; My country is Kiltartan Cross, My countrymen Kiltartan's poor, No likely end could bring them loss Or leave them happier than before. Nor law, nor duty bade me fight, Nor public men, nor cheering crowds, A lonely impulse of delight Drove to this tumult in the clouds; I balanced all, brought all to mind, The years to come seemed waste of breath, A waste of breath the years behind In balance with this life, this death.

so, that's it for now, this is ButtonGirl popping in......and falling of this coat...peace

real cool guys don't look back at the Explosions in the background...

Ever notice how it's mainly the bad, hard core guys that say "I'm back" in a movie? and if we look at images, of "I'm back" it looks all bad ass and hard core...

see, I'm sure LiL Wayne feels so hard core right now with all that black and red and creepyness <--- see he thinks he's a bad ass

see???? freaky as hell... and he's letting us know, he's back as if we wouldn't notice???????

like someone wouldn't notice a freaking hand come up from the ground!!!! I mean COME ON!

I mean the super heroes never proclaim their return, you know why?... they don't need to, everyone notices and they know it... they know people noticed their absence but it's more then that, they don't feel the need to let everyone know they've returned because they don't seek fulfilment in petty things, they are there to save the people, to help, to serve as a "beacon of hope" - not for a tourist attraction, they aren't there to get attention.
so... ever notice, the difference between bad guys and attention seekers?.... or rather the similarities?... they both like people noticing they're there... they both crave attention, they both want to be noticed so bad that they have to really make a huge spectacle entering just in case no one notices them simply walking by...
real cool dudes, never look back at the explosion when they walk away, cos they know it's happening, they don't need to check

so, the difference between people who want attention and those who seem to get it all... is approach, how they get their attention...:) and of course confidence in themselves... or at least pretending to have confidence like most cheerleaders
so... here's an idea, give yourself the attention - before you turn into the "I'm back"  type...
love yourself, but don't be conceited, act like you know you're amazing, because you are. laugh at yourself when you've done something stupid - it's funny. Walk into a room as though everyone stopped and bowed down to you like royalty, put a touch of make up on, but don't cover your face. find a style that's your own and remember the compliments, ignore the insults, if you can't, pretend you don't care, the popular people in life do it all the time... trust me... If they bite, don't bite back, laugh it off, especially if it really hurt, if you can, give a witty reply... but don't try your best to be hurtful, that's just a double ended sword, you end up stabbing yourself. feel the pain life brings, and share it with a friend, but never take it out on the world, don't let everyone see it, because they don't need to. have patience with those who do take it out on the world... no one showed them how not to... sympathise with those who show the world their pain, they don't have a friend to share it with - or at least they don't believe they do, be the friend, love them and show them through example how to love themselves. find something to smile at everyday, no matter how impossible it may feel, when you are happy, hold on to the feeling and spread it, you'll be surprised how many people need you to do that, you'll be surprised who needs it the most. complement someone who looks down, greet someone invisible that you've never seen before, just because you can. when no ones around turn the music up in your room and jump on your bed... a smart guy once wrote and I read, before walking a mile in someone else's shoes, you have to take your own shoes off... because you won't be able to wear their shoes properly if you're wearing your own still... strip yourself of all your arrogance and try, really try to understand someone else, don't walk a mile, walk a kilometre in their shoes... then remember, just like Nick from the great Gatsby, reserve that judgement... curb your tongue, you weren't born to be a judge of life... so don't take the position... because if you do, there's always going to be someone telling you that you're sitting in there chair...and you'll be forced to get off that high horse, and it won't be a great experience...

Don't ever be a different person, just be the best version of yourself... and love it.

The best advice I ever got was to breath, eat, and live like you'll die in a week, but realize that you won't, never be reckless with someone's heart, don't stand for people who are reckless with yours. if you're loving unconditionally, don't expect anything in return because then you're lying to yourself about love and you don't understand it at all...


FUNNIEZ!!!!

haha...sorry that kids face is freaking HILARIOUS!

so, that's it for now, this is ButtonGirl popping in...and falling off this coat...peace...

The definition of insanity...

I heard somewhere that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time... but that never really made sense to me... because if that was a case the entire world would be insane!... because we do things over and over and we expect a different result... a random example:  STD's and HIV...
and it was Albert Einstein who said  "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."  so we are encouraged to "persist"... to not give up...hence  "persistence is key"

so I googled it... :D
and this is what came up...

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein

insanity is a legal term pertaining to a defendant's ability to determine right from wrong when a crime is committed.


Insanity. n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.


Synonyms: insanity, lunacy, madness, mania, dementia


Insanity is a grave, often prolonged condition 

a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)

such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility

extreme folly or unreasonableness

something utterly foolish or unreasonable

and Wiki says - Insanity, craziness or madness is a spectrum of behaviors characterized by certain abnormal mental or behavioral patterns

This brings me to the conclusion, that no one really knows what insanity is... just like they really cannot define what normal is... I know I Googled it too... this is my favourite one..

conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

here, it doesn't tell me what the regular is, what the usual is... it says that it's conforming... and yet conforming to a certain thing is different EVERYWHERE... so, out of those ones, how do you determine which one is normal?... my favourite thing in this definition is "not abnormal"... really?...really really???... thanks Google, we never knew that!!!....

and so, we have a world trying to figure out what normal is... and what insanity is...so my big question is... WHY?... why is the world so obsessed with these two concepts?...
they find they want to fit into both these categories and yet they fear being placed into either of these categories...
 "I must be going insane"..."have I lost my mind"... we use these expressions so loosely, we know we haven't actually lost our minds and we are not actually insane... (we think)...  but still we make reference to these terms so often, makes you think... do we wish it just a little?... do we wish insanity upon ourselves?.... do we wish to be unique, would we feel that we are not like everyone else if we were insane?... would it be because we'd be thinking in a way that no one else does and this would give us the illusion that we're different that we are not just another ID number...  we'll feel more protected because no one would be able to see through us... they wouldn't just figure us out... and yet we know the severity of insanity, and we fear it... we push those away who aren't normal... who do not "conform" to the "non-conformists" the things that's truly different we despise, we fear, we push away...  we want to be like everyone... we want to be like the everyone elses that are so unique that they all unique together... I'd say that's insanity...  I'd say we are all insane, and by that... none of us are...
we are all searching fishes... in an ocean of answers, we're so busy asking the other fishes who don't know the answers that we don't see that we're living in the answers... the we breath, see, feel, live... the answers...

we are all insane... and by that, none of us are... none of us are normal... and by that we all are... we're so busy trying to be both, we haven't realized we already are...

so this is Button girl popping in...and falling off this coat...peace